


I can't do this alone anymore, 'cause I'm no good on my own anymore

by Anonymous



Series: Anon Universe’s Guide To Coping [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bet you didn’t see that one coming, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Panic Attacks, Parent Cara | CaptainPuffy, Parent Sam | Awesamdude, Traumatized Toby Smith | Tubbo, Vent!, idk what else to tag, not beta I’m too tired for that, we die like l’manburg here, who would’ve guessed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29743296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Tubbo looks at his ceiling, his bed is soft and the place is quiet, he feels too quiet. He wants to move, sure, but it’s hard. He’s not even in his own body now.Tubbo dissociates after a nightmare that had him wake up screaming, Puffy and Sam help him like parental figures should.
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Sam | Awesamdude, Cara | CaptainPuffy & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Cara | CaptainPuffy & TommyInnit, Sam | Awesamdude & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Series: Anon Universe’s Guide To Coping [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2154600
Comments: 1
Kudos: 130
Collections: Anonymous





	I can't do this alone anymore, 'cause I'm no good on my own anymore

**Author's Note:**

> ‘ello it’s fuckin 2:15 am and I’ve got class at 8 but I’ve been having a weird day so here I am. I honestly just based this off my own dissociation but I don’t remember most of what happens so eh
> 
> title from I Was an Island by A.W.

Tubbo looks at his ceiling, his bed is soft and the place is quiet, he feels too quiet. He wants to move, sure, but it’s hard. He’s not even in his own body now.

“How do you feel?” He’s aware that someone is next to him, Sam. How did he get here? He frowns and doesn’t take his eyes off the ceiling, how does he feel?

“Like I’m floating. My thoughts are quiet.” He can feel his voice vibrating in his throat, he’s real. It doesn’t feel like it. “I don’t feel real.”

Sam hums, he thinks. His ears feel clogged up, he hears shuffling and someone leaving the room. Must be Sam. The place is quiet, he closes his eyes. There’s a buzz all over his body, he would like something to take it away.

The door opens again, he stops looking at the ceiling in favour of finding out who. They’re blurry, they seem okay, maybe it’s Sam again, so he shifts his focus on the door hinges.

“Tubbo?” Oh. It’s not Sam. He hums. “Good, you’re still with me. I’m gonna give you something and I want you to grip it tightly, okay?” He blinks and then looks back at the person, white hair, red and white shirt. He tries to nod but ends up humming again.

The buzz is strong, it threatens to overtake his entire body and drag him under, he feels someone touching his shoulder lightly. Suddenly everything went from too quiet to too loud, he could hear his heartbeat in his ears and throat, he could feel the hand and the blanket over him. It’s suffocating and he wants  _ out. _

Tubbo’s body flinches and sends a wave of shivers down itself. He can’t breathe, he can, he doesn’t feel like he can, he can feel the air in his lungs but he is still suffocating. He needs to get away, he doesn’t like to be trapped, he’s trapped.

“Tubbo– Tubs, breathe with me, come on.” He is, he is breathing. In and out, he does that, always. “Deep breathes, Tubbo.” Oh– deep? He can do that, in and out but slower. It’s frustratingly difficult to breathe, his body is still overwhelmed with the buzz but he feels too present too.

He might’ve choked at some point, because there are hands on him and he's being pushed to sit up. His brain is panicking, telling him to get away and he tries, his body isn’t responsive, he can’t move or even open his eyes.

“Deep breaths, match my breathing, okay?” He hears exaggerated breathing, he follows it, he tries to. “There we go, a little more now.” His breathing stutters a few times but the panic subdues. He can breathe now, he can feel his chest rising and falling. 

His body feels too hot but it’s also so cold. His brain is fuzzier than before and he needs comfort. Grabbing his blankets despite the buzz that still threatens to overtake him, he pulls it toward his body and tries to go back down.

“Bud– hold on before you go down.” The hand is back on his back, keeping him upright for a moment. “Can you tell me what’s your name?”

_ Tubbo. _ He knows it, everyone knows it. He opens his mouth to respond and it hangs open, the words don’t push past his lips. He closes his mouth again and swallows. “Tubbo.” It’s quiet, but it’s there.

“How old are you?”

“‘m seventeen.” The buzz fades ever so slowly, it’s still coiling around his brain. He can look at the person next to him, he thinks it’s Puffy.

“Do you know where you are?”

“Snowchester.” He must be, that’s his home, right? 

“you’re in Sam’s base, Tubs.” She says quietly, rubbing his back in a circular motion. Oh, when did he get there? “Do you think you can stand up?”

He pauses for a moment, then hesitantly nods. The buzz is still there but it’s far less than it used to be, so he probably can get up. Puffy removes his blanket and he shudders from the gust of cold hair that hits him, then slowly turns his legs to the side of the bed.

“Here, give me your hands, I'll help you stand up.” He does, he trusts Puffy. His legs wobble when he puts his weight onto them and instead heavily lean onto Puffy. “You’re okay, I got you.” The cold stone under his feet is grounding in on its own, but walking around makes him feel like he’s slowly getting back into his body.

The cold air of the base hits him with every step and the fog subdues fully. He’s left with being in his body and oh so tired. What set him off? He can’t remember, but something did and he isn’t sure how long it’s been.

They end up in the living room, he spaced out on their way here, he thinks. But Sam is already sitting on the couch, blankets beside him and steaming cups of something on the table in front of him, he sees Tommy curled up under a blanket next to Sam chatting quietly, the other side from the empty space.

Both their eyes snap up towards the pair, as they both slowly shuffle in. Tubbo looks disheveled and exhausted, as Puffy ushers him towards the couch in the spot next to Sam then sits on the other side of him, successfully cocooning him in warmth.

Tommy throws a blanket at him, lightly, and Sam chuckles and fixes it so it’s not covering his face. “We made hot cocoa.” Sam said quietly, Tubbo hummed from where he was practically laying on Puffy. His eyes close after a few minutes, Tommy following soon after, Puffy and Sam quietly converse, both sipping on their cocoa.

When they do finish, their focus is shifted on the boys. They both seem so exhausted, if Tubbo’s nightmare that made him wake up yelling bloody murder and forcing his body to react on instinct, which then woke Tommy up in the same panic, was anything to go by.

Sam went to get up but Tommy quickly latched onto his shirt making him pause. “Guess we should get them to bed.” Puffy hums in agreement and slowly tries to stand up without waking Tubbo up.

They all ended up on one bed, cuddled up together to protect their boys from anything and everything that tried to get near them.

**Author's Note:**

> I keep almost tagging my socials and stuff because that’s what I usually do with my fics on my actual account but :)


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